The Greatest Fan Film EVER!

About a year ago Bullcrank.com gave us a preview of an epic battle featuring all of our favorite heroes.

Here is that preview (below):

 

   

 
   
         
   

Then, to my surprise, I found they released the 5-part story on YouTube not to long ago. I have the first episode below and links to the other 4 episodes as well.

Enjoy!

 

   
   


 

Part 2Part 3Part 4Part 5

   

Gor-el Revisted


 

The Onion recently expanded on an earlier comic post of ours. Here’s the story below:

 

 
     
 

EARTH—Former vice president Al Gore—who for the past three decades has unsuccessfully attempted to warn humanity of the coming destruction of our planet, only to be mocked and derided by the very people he has tried to save—launched his infant son into space Monday in the faint hope that his only child would reach the safety of another world.

 

"I tried to warn them, but the Elders of this planet would not listen," said Gore, who in 2000 was nearly banished to a featureless realm of nonexistence for promoting his unpopular message. "They called me foolish and laughed at my predictions. Yet even now, the Midwest is flooded, the ice caps are melting, and the cities are rocked with tremors, just as I foretold. Fools! Why didn’t they heed me before it was too late?"

 

Al Gore—or, as he is known in his own language, Gore-Al—placed his son, Kal-Al, gently in the one-passenger rocket ship, his brow furrowed by the great weight he carried in preserving the sole survivor of humanity’s hubristic folly.

 

"There is nothing left now but to ensure that my infant son does not meet the same fate as the rest of my doomed race," Gore said. "I will send him to a new planet, where he will, I hope, be raised by simple but kindly country folk and grow up to be a hero and protector to his adopted home."

 

As the rocket soared through the Gore estate’s retractable solar-paneled roof—installed three years ago to save energy and provide emergency rocket-launch capability in the event that Gore’s campaign to save Earth was unsuccessful—the onetime presidential candidate and his wife, Tipper, stood arm-in-arm, nobly facing their end while gazing up in stoic dignity at the receding rocket, the ecosystem already beginning to collapse around them.

 

In the final moments before the Earth’s destruction, Gore expressed hope that his son would one day grow up to carry on his mission by fighting for truth, justice, and the American way elsewhere in the universe, using his Earth-given superpowers to become a champion of the downtrodden and a reducer of carbon emissions across the galaxy.

 

"Perhaps he will succeed where I have failed," Gore said.

 

Despite the child’s humble beginnings, experts predict the intergalactic journey may have some extraordinary effects on Kal-Al’s physique, eyesight, and, potentially, his powers of quiet, sensible persuasion.

 

"On his new planet, Kal-Al’s Earth physiology will react to the radiation of a differently colored sun, causing him to develop abilities far beyond those of mortal men," political analyst Sig Schuster said. "He will be faster than a speeding Prius, stronger than the existing Superfund program, and able to leap mountains of red tape in a single bound. These superpowers will sustain him in his never-ending battle against conservatives, wealthy industrialists, and other environmental supervillains."

 

Although Gore and his wife voiced regrets that they could not accompany their son on his journey, they tried their best to equip Kal-Al for life on his new planet, providing the infant with a Keynote slide-show presentation of all human knowledge, a self-growing crystal fortress from which to monitor glacier shrinkage, and a copy of Al Gore’s 1992 bestseller, Earth In The Balance.

 

The baby was also wrapped in a blanket emblazoned with the Gore family crest, which, because it is made of Earth materials, will be invulnerable on the new planet. It is hoped that one day it will be fashioned into a colorful costume for the boy to wear while fighting wrongdoers.

 

"In brightly hued tights, it will be harder for people there to ignore him when he takes on his new planet’s lobbyists, auto manufacturers, and enemies of justice," Schuster said. "A bold and eye-catching unitard will give Kal-Al, last son of Earth, a formidable tool for protecting his new planet, a power more awesome than any his father could have dreamed of: the power of charisma."

 
     

Does Will Smith think Hancock beats Superman??!

 
 
   
 

In the grand scheme of things, there are heroes and superheroes. And then there are super-superheroes.

 

 

"The last ‘Superman’ I got offered," Will Smith revealed recently, reminiscing about the time he passed up the "Superman Returns" role that eventually went to Brandon Routh, "the script came, and I was like, ‘There is no way I’m playing Superman!’

 

Because I had already done Jim West [of ‘Wild Wild West’], and you can’t be messing up white people’s heroes in Hollywood!"

 


 
 
 
 

 

Laughing, the king of the 4th of July weekend added, "You mess up white people’s heroes in Hollywood, you’ll never work in this town again!"

 

Though he has the physique (as seen in "Ali") and action-movie credibility ("I Am Legend," "Independence Day"), Smith has watched the superhero-cinema revolution of the last decade from the sidelines, keeping one hand firmly on his cape. In 2005, the A-lister came across a nine-year-old script called "Tonight, He Comes," which offered him the chance to personify a new hero, in the film we now know as "Hancock."

 

"Hancock is dark, but he’s fun," the former Fresh Prince (who reunited with DJ Jazzy Jeff at the film’s premiere this week for an old-school rap performance) said of his character. "You can get away with all kinds of things if it’s funny. It’s like staying on that edge of comedy, which is what I think is the beauty of this movie. [Director] Pete Berg, he shoots it in a way that is really authentic-looking. He’s not setting up jokes with those camera shots, so the comedy is really coming out from a true, authentic character place, which is hard to do with these kinds of movies."

 

Now, instead of taking up residence in the Fortress of Solitude, Will Smith has a park bench. Instead of blue tights, he’s wearing shorts and a tattered knit cap. He still gets to stop bullets with his skin, fly through the air and engage in his own Man of Steel heroics — but when Hancock goes dark, he makes Christopher Reeve’s "Superman III" bar scene look like a "Teletubbies" rerun.

 

"I was attracted to the idea of this self-destructive, drunk, nihilistic beast of a man fighting crime inebriated and terrorizing the people he was supposed to protect," Berg said of his film. "I like that idea. I thought it would give us the ability to find a fresh way into the superhero genre."

 

Jason Bateman, who appears in the film as a publicity expert eager to give Hancock an image makeover, insists that films like "Fantastic Four" and "Daredevil" fall short when they don’t explore the darker temptations of superpowers. "I would probably not be a very good good-guy; I would probably go the Hancock route," he reasoned. "I would love to fly and bang into things. It would be nice to bounce off a building, and bounce off the other one, instead of flying straight through — that’s kind of boring."

 

"I like [superhero movies] when they push the envelope and they give you something different," leading lady Charlize Theron said. "And I feel like this one is as different and unusual as they come."

 

But if there’s one thing we all know about comic book geeks, it’s that they must rank everything. So, in this summer when "Iron Man" and "The Dark Knight" are battling for the title of best superhero movie ever made, where does "Hancock" fit in?

"It’s a really interesting time," Berg said. "Jon Favreau did a great job on ‘Iron Man,’ and Downey was fantastic. It was an interesting spin, had a nice flavor. … ‘Hulk’ was also an interesting film.

 

"Hancock is his own animal," Berg said of the character, trying to place him among the onslaught of DC and Marvel comics legends who’ve hit the big screen in the past decade. "He’s probably somewhere, but not on the hill all the rest of [the superheroes] are on. He has to be on the hill in back. He smashed the hill up a little bit, so it’s more of a mound, because he got drunk and flew through his hill."

 

At long last, Will Smith has finally found a role that lets him leap tall buildings in a single bound. And by avoiding the expectations of the super-superhero who would have weighed him down with 75 years’ worth of baggage, perhaps the star has finally figured out the best way to create a performance more powerful than a locomotive.

 

"I don’t really want to compare it to other superhero films, because I think this one just kicks the ass of all other superhero films," Theron insisted. "And by the way, Will paid me to say that."